Lately I have been thinking a lot about how I am perceived, how I perceive others and how I come to those decisions. Ive been told many times in my life by friends that the first impression I gave them is in complete opposition to the person they now know me as. A great example would be my roommates (and now friends) that I have had in Las Vegas. When my friend Lucy met me, she said I was intimidating because I was this "city-girl, business professional PR person who had 'clients.' " That still makes me laugh. My friend Lindsay told our friend Candace she "just couldnt figure me out" for a few months. Lindsay told her, "She's SO quiet but now and again, she'll open her mouth and say something SO funny!" These girls now know the real Jackie and that although I have a quiet, reserved side I can also be very outgoing, sociable and fun-loving. Which brings me to the point I am trying to make. I believe that a person's personality is more situational than absolute.
A book I recently read by Malcolm Gladwell called Blink talks about Fundamental Attribution Error, which says that we often assign either/or labels to people, when in truth, personalities are much more of a gray area than we can wrap our heads around. We like to say a person is either this or that: kind or mean, introverted or extroverted, honest or deceitful. But the reality is that we are different people in different situations. To use myself again as an example, on the job I am mostly serious and to the point. With friends or at home, I am laidback and goofy. I think my co-workers for the most part wouldnt recognize weekend Jackie. Its true that some people never change according to their situations, but I think this is a small percentage of the population. We often create different identities within our entire identity, but it doesnt make us two-faced, just human.
A recent article in Psychology magazine talked about misunderstood personality types and referenced personalities that were in contradiction to each other, such as the "shy extrovert." It gave the example of a professor that gave amazing lectures and all his students perceived him as outgoing. Outside of class however, the professor was truly so shy that after his lectures he would feel sick to his stomach and so shaky that he would have to spend an hour just calming himself down!
I think when we make assumptions about people before we really know them, we can end up selling ourselves short. I know that if my roommates hadnt given me a chance and taken the time to get to know me, I would still be to them that quiet, reserved girl some of them didnt understand. I'm glad I was able to get comfortable enough around them to feel like I could show them my true colors. It's become my personal goal to not make snap judgements about people before really getting to know them.
* On a side note though, I do believe in intuition and I think that sometimes our snap judgements about people can be correct, but not always. For example: If I meet a guy and he gives me the willies, you can bet I wont be giving him too much personal information.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
I 'PLEDGE' to never participate in market research ever again
Last week I was at the mall and was accosted by a rough looking twenty-something guy in a white shirt, black pants and a black tie holding a clipboard. He told me I would be compensated for my time in exchange for participating in some "market research." Taking pity on him and feeling that cheap, slutty teenage favorite Forever 21, or Forver 25 as I now call it, could wait, I agreed.
"You probably think I'm hitting on you, huh?" he said as he led me down a hallway I never knew existed within the mall's confines. He took me into a waiting room with a hall full of offices and a room with a large open window facing the waiting room. He went into the front room and behind the window a grumpy, just as rough looking young girl rolled her eyes at him and in an irritated voice told him to ask me my age and if I had any pets. He returned with a clipboard and made me sign a confidentiality waiver and told me I would be asked some very personal questions...about cleaning. How very intrusive of him to ask if I have ever used a Swiffer. While he administered the survey of personal cleaning questions he paused after every page to ask me questions about what I did on the weekends and what clubs I went to.
He then led me into a dark room with a large projector where the only competent person working there followed my eyes with eye-tracking tecnology while I looked at images of shelves filled with cleaning products. Then my new friend, Alex, took me into a room where we went "shopping." In this scenario it became obvious what the name of the new product was that the corporation was testing, but my surveyor failed to correctly finger the product, confusing it with the generic brand.
I then had to answer questions about my "shopping" experience and the product being tested. Instead of just letting me sit at the dinosaur computer and answer the questions, the kid read them alound to me (even though I could clearly see the computer screen) and filled in the better part of my answers incorrectly. All the while he was dropping F bombs and asking me more personal questions. I told him that cursing on the job was unprofessional and kept motioning to him to move things along. "FOCUS, Alex. I came here to shop!" His excuse for his foul mouth was that he just "hated the [must remain confidential] corporation so bleeping much." By the end of the survey, in the interest of time, he was just clicking random answers. I wonder if this is how he filled in scantron tests in high school. When he expressed how impressed he was when I had to tell him my annual salary, I wanted to shake him and tell him to go back to school.
Thirty minutes later we were done and when I asked him how I would be compensated for my time, he made a phone sign with his hand and held it to his ear to say I would be getting his phone call. "Na, Na just playin." Alex, I keep forgetting how hilarious you are! I left the offices with $5 cash and a new disrespect for "market research." I cant believe companies will pour millions of dollars into testing new products when its people like Alex that they have to put their trust in. I had $5 and they had a bunch of false and probably contradictory information. But at least Alex had a job.
"You probably think I'm hitting on you, huh?" he said as he led me down a hallway I never knew existed within the mall's confines. He took me into a waiting room with a hall full of offices and a room with a large open window facing the waiting room. He went into the front room and behind the window a grumpy, just as rough looking young girl rolled her eyes at him and in an irritated voice told him to ask me my age and if I had any pets. He returned with a clipboard and made me sign a confidentiality waiver and told me I would be asked some very personal questions...about cleaning. How very intrusive of him to ask if I have ever used a Swiffer. While he administered the survey of personal cleaning questions he paused after every page to ask me questions about what I did on the weekends and what clubs I went to.
He then led me into a dark room with a large projector where the only competent person working there followed my eyes with eye-tracking tecnology while I looked at images of shelves filled with cleaning products. Then my new friend, Alex, took me into a room where we went "shopping." In this scenario it became obvious what the name of the new product was that the corporation was testing, but my surveyor failed to correctly finger the product, confusing it with the generic brand.
I then had to answer questions about my "shopping" experience and the product being tested. Instead of just letting me sit at the dinosaur computer and answer the questions, the kid read them alound to me (even though I could clearly see the computer screen) and filled in the better part of my answers incorrectly. All the while he was dropping F bombs and asking me more personal questions. I told him that cursing on the job was unprofessional and kept motioning to him to move things along. "FOCUS, Alex. I came here to shop!" His excuse for his foul mouth was that he just "hated the [must remain confidential] corporation so bleeping much." By the end of the survey, in the interest of time, he was just clicking random answers. I wonder if this is how he filled in scantron tests in high school. When he expressed how impressed he was when I had to tell him my annual salary, I wanted to shake him and tell him to go back to school.
Thirty minutes later we were done and when I asked him how I would be compensated for my time, he made a phone sign with his hand and held it to his ear to say I would be getting his phone call. "Na, Na just playin." Alex, I keep forgetting how hilarious you are! I left the offices with $5 cash and a new disrespect for "market research." I cant believe companies will pour millions of dollars into testing new products when its people like Alex that they have to put their trust in. I had $5 and they had a bunch of false and probably contradictory information. But at least Alex had a job.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
A short note of praise to a remarkable song
A few weeks I ago saw the Cirque Du Soleil show "Love," which is a tribute to The Beatles featuring only their music along with dancing, acrobatic acts and stunts performed in a theater in the round. It's by far the best live show I have ever seen on the Strip, or really anywhere for that matter and it reminded me of my love for their one-of-a-kind music and style. Although not a Beatles song, but a song from a Beatle, there was one song I wished they could have included somehow and that is John Lennon's "Imagine."
Do you remember where you were when you first heard "Imagine?" I remember being about ten years old and seeing the music video on VH1 when I was staying up really late one summer night as I often did as a kid. Maybe it was partly the obscurity of being up too late and being alone in my living room lying a foot away from the TV resting my head on my hands while the rest of the house was quiet, but I remember being very affected by it. So much so that for days I was in somewhat of a thoughtful, melancholy fog and I wished I could have been born in a time where I could have experienced the social turmoil of that decade yet also have lived to see the world peace the song was pleading for. To this day, whenever I hear this song and there are no significant distractions around, it puts me in a contemplative and serious mood. That's the power of its music and lyrics.
After seeing "Love," my friend Trevor and I talked about "Imagine" and he said he can remember hearing the song for the first time while he was out shopping with his mom also as a ten or eleven-year-old child. He was so struck by the song that he had to ask his mom who it was by.
Because I haven't yet figured out how to share music on this blog, I have only posted the lyrics to "Imagine" below. But when you can, go listen to the song and see how it makes you feel.
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
No religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will live as one
Do you remember where you were when you first heard "Imagine?" I remember being about ten years old and seeing the music video on VH1 when I was staying up really late one summer night as I often did as a kid. Maybe it was partly the obscurity of being up too late and being alone in my living room lying a foot away from the TV resting my head on my hands while the rest of the house was quiet, but I remember being very affected by it. So much so that for days I was in somewhat of a thoughtful, melancholy fog and I wished I could have been born in a time where I could have experienced the social turmoil of that decade yet also have lived to see the world peace the song was pleading for. To this day, whenever I hear this song and there are no significant distractions around, it puts me in a contemplative and serious mood. That's the power of its music and lyrics.
After seeing "Love," my friend Trevor and I talked about "Imagine" and he said he can remember hearing the song for the first time while he was out shopping with his mom also as a ten or eleven-year-old child. He was so struck by the song that he had to ask his mom who it was by.
Because I haven't yet figured out how to share music on this blog, I have only posted the lyrics to "Imagine" below. But when you can, go listen to the song and see how it makes you feel.
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
No religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will live as one
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Is this another rant? Maybe.
Lately Ive notived that people often communicate by consistenly posing questions about themselves then immediately answering them. It's like they are the interviewer and respondent of themselves. Example: "Did I eat Wendy's for lunch today and then Pizza Hut for dinner? Yes. Am I proud of it? No. Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Absolutely not.
Why so dramatic in your language? It's a little off-putting and also very inefficient. Why not just come out with one statement? I regret being a patron of two different fast food franchises in one day and I would not do it again. Look at how much easier and less sassy that was. There should be an SLC Weekend Update character that talks only in question and answer form. Kristin Wiig could pull it off.
Why so dramatic in your language? It's a little off-putting and also very inefficient. Why not just come out with one statement? I regret being a patron of two different fast food franchises in one day and I would not do it again. Look at how much easier and less sassy that was. There should be an SLC Weekend Update character that talks only in question and answer form. Kristin Wiig could pull it off.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Some very condescending words for some very obnoxious musicians
Stop whining, The Fray
Grow up, Asher Roth.
Keep your pants on, Pussycat Dolls.
Do your own work, Justin Timberlake.
That's enough, Lady Gaga.
And most importantly...
That's QUITE enough, Jason Mraz!
Grow up, Asher Roth.
Keep your pants on, Pussycat Dolls.
Do your own work, Justin Timberlake.
That's enough, Lady Gaga.
And most importantly...
That's QUITE enough, Jason Mraz!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
iPhone? No, thank you, Mr. Jobs, I'd rather not.
Can I just say one thing or is this Russia? I am not drinking the iPhone kool-aid! Almost everybody who owns one seems to rant and rave about its endless possibilities. But have you ever been in a social setting and got stuck with the guy that wants to show you that his iPhone screensaver is fish that move when you run your finger over them? How bout the guy that desribes funny YouTube videos then says "I'll look it up on my iPhone" and then spends five minutes trying to download it? "Hang on, its loading. Its being slow. I don't know what's going on. It never does this." Have you ever been texting someone and then discovered that they were being short in their texts because they were distracted by games they were playing on their iPhone?! I have. And it was while I was BLOGGING ABOUT THE iPHONE!
Don't even get me started on the repetitive commercials where some friendly voice-over omnipotently identifies everything you ever needed in life and then tells you the iPhone has an app for it. Is there anything the iPhone can't do?! Is a pocket sized piece of metal stripping us of our competence and humanity?! If I could create a mock commercial of the iPhone it would go something like this: "Need to use the lavatories throughout the day? Want to wash your hands afterwards? There's an app for that. " Then of course they would get more and more ridiculous: "Need to tuck your children into bed and kiss them goodnight? Want to save time reading them a bedtime story too? There's an app for that."
This is how bitter I feel towards the iPhone. iPhone you better watch your back!
Don't even get me started on the repetitive commercials where some friendly voice-over omnipotently identifies everything you ever needed in life and then tells you the iPhone has an app for it. Is there anything the iPhone can't do?! Is a pocket sized piece of metal stripping us of our competence and humanity?! If I could create a mock commercial of the iPhone it would go something like this: "Need to use the lavatories throughout the day? Want to wash your hands afterwards? There's an app for that. " Then of course they would get more and more ridiculous: "Need to tuck your children into bed and kiss them goodnight? Want to save time reading them a bedtime story too? There's an app for that."
This is how bitter I feel towards the iPhone. iPhone you better watch your back!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
See you at the crossroads....
Due to the faltering economy, I decided that I would continue to drive my 144,000 mile, 1998 Mitsubishi Galant into the ground in order to avoid a monthly car payment. About two weeks ago I literally did so, only the "ground" turned out to be the back of a white pickup truck. As soon as I heard the metal crashing, I knew my car's time had come. Having been together almost 7 years, I think I felt its car spirit leave its body. After making the news known to my friends, one aquaintance pointed out that although he had only had the opportunity to ride in my car once, he did notice it had a lot of quirks and that it was probably for the best.
So, this blog is devoted to my old car's "quirks." Hope you enjoy it as much as I do remembering it.
Quirk #1: Broken Door
About 6 months into buying the car, the driver's side backseat door refused to open from the inside AND outside. Of course, being that I myself didn't have to deal with it besides the occasional "Oh sorry, yeah that door doesn't open. Yeah, you have to go around. No, you have to go to the other side. Try the other side. ....GO AROUND!," I decided to let it be.
There was however one incredible moment I will never forget in which my dear friend Lindsay unknowingly, miraculously OPENED THE DOOR FROM THE OUTSIDE! It was beautiful. I stared at her like she had just removed the Sword in the Stone and exclaimed "It's a Miracle!" To the day it went down, the door NEVER opened again. I knew Lindsay was a special person and that fateful event proved it so.
Quirk #2: Jacked-up gas door
Only a couple months ago I was pumping gas and, like I often do, I stepped into the convenience store to get a diet pepsi while I left my gas pumping. And these were my next steps, in this exact order, after exiting the store with my 32 oz. : Opened door, sat in car, shut door, placed drink in cup holder, started car, put car in drive and accelerated. And then........"BOOM!" Then me: "Oh sh.....!" I don't think this needs any further explanation. Needless to say, the gas door was never the same again.
So, this blog is devoted to my old car's "quirks." Hope you enjoy it as much as I do remembering it.
Quirk #1: Broken Door
About 6 months into buying the car, the driver's side backseat door refused to open from the inside AND outside. Of course, being that I myself didn't have to deal with it besides the occasional "Oh sorry, yeah that door doesn't open. Yeah, you have to go around. No, you have to go to the other side. Try the other side. ....GO AROUND!," I decided to let it be.
There was however one incredible moment I will never forget in which my dear friend Lindsay unknowingly, miraculously OPENED THE DOOR FROM THE OUTSIDE! It was beautiful. I stared at her like she had just removed the Sword in the Stone and exclaimed "It's a Miracle!" To the day it went down, the door NEVER opened again. I knew Lindsay was a special person and that fateful event proved it so.
Quirk #2: Jacked-up gas door
Only a couple months ago I was pumping gas and, like I often do, I stepped into the convenience store to get a diet pepsi while I left my gas pumping. And these were my next steps, in this exact order, after exiting the store with my 32 oz. : Opened door, sat in car, shut door, placed drink in cup holder, started car, put car in drive and accelerated. And then........"BOOM!" Then me: "Oh sh.....!" I don't think this needs any further explanation. Needless to say, the gas door was never the same again.
Quirk #3: Bent key
For whatever reason, my driver's side lock exhibited bear-like strength from time to time and the key had to be turned very strongly in order to make the lock budge. This resulted in one key's demise and the back-up's mutilation. Any time I handed someone my key to get into my car, I would get anxiety, fearful that their ignorance to its special needs would be the end of it
Quirk #4: Loudmouth
My car would never shut up. When I was making a sharp right turn, it would say "GGGGGGRRRRR!" When I was accelerating, it would say "VVVVOOOOOM" !" In colder weather, it would shriek "REEEEEEREEEEEEEREEEEEEE!" And when it was just moving it would whisper "vroooooommmmmmmm."
Quirk #5: Finicky interior lighting
The interior lighting that lit up the heating/cooling buttons only worked when they felt like it. Sometimes I could get them to do their job if I played with them a little bit, switching from hot to cold really fast, but sometimes even this tactic failed and I had to resort to my memory. Right: hot air. Left: cold air. And so on and so forth.
So, there are its quirks, among others that I'm sure I am forgetting to mention. Goodbye Galant. You were my first loan, you got me through my college years and then some. And for that you will hold a special place in my memory and credit score. As one of my favorite rap trios -Bone, Thugs, Harmony- would say "See you at the crossroads, crossroads......"
Friday, January 30, 2009
If I were a writer for SNL
Because one of my favorite television shows is Saturday Night Live and my dream career is television writing, I often think about what I would come up with if I were ever given the opportunity to write for the program. Of course, part of the regular sketch line-up for the show are parodies. Below is a list of some things that I would parody the hell out of if it were up to me. Please note that I don't dislike or disrespect most, of the following things, I just think they would make for great material.
- Twilight! The book series and the film would be so easy to poke fun at. I can just imagine a scene where one of the female cast members, such as Kristen Wiig, plays a teenage girl who brings home to meet her parents her boyfriend - Bill Hader as a wide and shifty eyed "Edward" with extreme bedhead wearing caked on white powder and red lipstick.
- Lost. I have been a huge fan of the show from the beginning, but even I can recognize that it is getting out of control. I don't think the cast of SNL would even be big enough to play all the main characters.
- Gossip Girl. Even MORE unbelievable than the time-travel plotlines in Lost.
- The songs on Britney Spears' new album, which are more like three minutes of strategically placed sound effects than musical compositions.
- Paige Davis' recent comeback thanks to her RC Willey commercials. No explanation necessary.
That's all for now cause I'm starting to feel too critical and annoying.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Dream a little dream......
This weekend I was discussing with my co-worker how women (including myself) always seem to put the cart before the horse whenever we first meet a guy we really like. This includes such behaviors as assuming that they have certain desirable qualities (that they may or may not have), imagining the two of you becoming a couple, wondering what your life would be like if you married them, what your firstborn would look like, etc. This is just something I think most women tend to do, as much as we try not to. We just love ROMANCE and can’t resist playing out movie-worthy scenes or happily ever after scenarios after we first think to ourselves “Maybe this really could be something.”
Immediately after having this conversation I began to wonder if guys ever did the same, being the apathetic curse words that movies, television and our own experiences often make them out to be. I started thinking of my guy friends and wondering which ones might actually be prone to daydreaming. I immediately went to one that I would describe as a hopeless romantic (but he’s not really hopeless). Not a shocker to me, he does daydream about being in relationships so I asked him to describe to me what he imagines happening in the daydream. He listed three difference scenarios 1) him and the girl watching the stars (tehehe) (2) him comforting a girl while she cries (3) him and the girl having serious talks and getting “emotional together” (this guy has got to have the bluest personality according to the personality color wheel that I have ever seen).
I continued to ask several of my other guy friends the same question thinking that this query would prove to be a great way to find out about a person’s personality and what they look for in a relationship, but my prediction was proven wrong for the most part. Although HR’s, (Hopeless Romantic) description fit him to a tee! I continued to ask several of my other guy friends the same question and to my dismay most of their answers were very brief and unimaginative, with the exception of one friend who misunderstood the question to mean daydreaming in general and replied “skateboarding on everything and hanging with rappers/actresses.” Ha ha! Doesn’t that make you imagine Bart Simpson skateboarding through Springfield in the beginning credits of The Simpsons?
Anyway, most of their answers went something like this. “I just imagine me doing the same things I normally do but with that person there.” LAME! Why are men so unromantic?!! It would be appear that they just want us to act as their faithful hound accompanying them on rides to the grocery store and leading them on walks to the park. OK, maybe that’s a little crazy, but seriously, why so mundane in your fantasies? However, as simple as their answers were, it does show that they do dream about good old, simple companionship, which in and of itself is sweet. Let’s hear it for the boys, (especially Star Watcher)!
Immediately after having this conversation I began to wonder if guys ever did the same, being the apathetic curse words that movies, television and our own experiences often make them out to be. I started thinking of my guy friends and wondering which ones might actually be prone to daydreaming. I immediately went to one that I would describe as a hopeless romantic (but he’s not really hopeless). Not a shocker to me, he does daydream about being in relationships so I asked him to describe to me what he imagines happening in the daydream. He listed three difference scenarios 1) him and the girl watching the stars (tehehe) (2) him comforting a girl while she cries (3) him and the girl having serious talks and getting “emotional together” (this guy has got to have the bluest personality according to the personality color wheel that I have ever seen).
I continued to ask several of my other guy friends the same question thinking that this query would prove to be a great way to find out about a person’s personality and what they look for in a relationship, but my prediction was proven wrong for the most part. Although HR’s, (Hopeless Romantic) description fit him to a tee! I continued to ask several of my other guy friends the same question and to my dismay most of their answers were very brief and unimaginative, with the exception of one friend who misunderstood the question to mean daydreaming in general and replied “skateboarding on everything and hanging with rappers/actresses.” Ha ha! Doesn’t that make you imagine Bart Simpson skateboarding through Springfield in the beginning credits of The Simpsons?
Anyway, most of their answers went something like this. “I just imagine me doing the same things I normally do but with that person there.” LAME! Why are men so unromantic?!! It would be appear that they just want us to act as their faithful hound accompanying them on rides to the grocery store and leading them on walks to the park. OK, maybe that’s a little crazy, but seriously, why so mundane in your fantasies? However, as simple as their answers were, it does show that they do dream about good old, simple companionship, which in and of itself is sweet. Let’s hear it for the boys, (especially Star Watcher)!
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