Tuesday, March 10, 2009

See you at the crossroads....

Due to the faltering economy, I decided that I would continue to drive my 144,000 mile, 1998 Mitsubishi Galant into the ground in order to avoid a monthly car payment. About two weeks ago I literally did so, only the "ground" turned out to be the back of a white pickup truck. As soon as I heard the metal crashing, I knew my car's time had come. Having been together almost 7 years, I think I felt its car spirit leave its body. After making the news known to my friends, one aquaintance pointed out that although he had only had the opportunity to ride in my car once, he did notice it had a lot of quirks and that it was probably for the best.

So, this blog is devoted to my old car's "quirks." Hope you enjoy it as much as I do remembering it.

Quirk #1: Broken Door

About 6 months into buying the car, the driver's side backseat door refused to open from the inside AND outside. Of course, being that I myself didn't have to deal with it besides the occasional "Oh sorry, yeah that door doesn't open. Yeah, you have to go around. No, you have to go to the other side. Try the other side. ....GO AROUND!," I decided to let it be.


There was however one incredible moment I will never forget in which my dear friend Lindsay unknowingly, miraculously OPENED THE DOOR FROM THE OUTSIDE! It was beautiful. I stared at her like she had just removed the Sword in the Stone and exclaimed "It's a Miracle!" To the day it went down, the door NEVER opened again. I knew Lindsay was a special person and that fateful event proved it so.

Quirk #2: Jacked-up gas door

Only a couple months ago I was pumping gas and, like I often do, I stepped into the convenience store to get a diet pepsi while I left my gas pumping. And these were my next steps, in this exact order, after exiting the store with my 32 oz. : Opened door, sat in car, shut door, placed drink in cup holder, started car, put car in drive and accelerated. And then........"BOOM!" Then me: "Oh sh.....!" I don't think this needs any further explanation. Needless to say, the gas door was never the same again.

Quirk #3: Bent key

For whatever reason, my driver's side lock exhibited bear-like strength from time to time and the key had to be turned very strongly in order to make the lock budge. This resulted in one key's demise and the back-up's mutilation. Any time I handed someone my key to get into my car, I would get anxiety, fearful that their ignorance to its special needs would be the end of it

Quirk #4: Loudmouth
My car would never shut up. When I was making a sharp right turn, it would say "GGGGGGRRRRR!" When I was accelerating, it would say "VVVVOOOOOM" !" In colder weather, it would shriek "REEEEEEREEEEEEEREEEEEEE!" And when it was just moving it would whisper "vroooooommmmmmmm."

Quirk #5: Finicky interior lighting

The interior lighting that lit up the heating/cooling buttons only worked when they felt like it. Sometimes I could get them to do their job if I played with them a little bit, switching from hot to cold really fast, but sometimes even this tactic failed and I had to resort to my memory. Right: hot air. Left: cold air. And so on and so forth.

So, there are its quirks, among others that I'm sure I am forgetting to mention. Goodbye Galant. You were my first loan, you got me through my college years and then some. And for that you will hold a special place in my memory and credit score. As one of my favorite rap trios -Bone, Thugs, Harmony- would say "See you at the crossroads, crossroads......"

7 comments:

Jonny P said...

Do you think cars have their own heaven and hell? My guess is, in human heaven, there are no cars, but in human hell, there are lots of cars and only narrow, one way streets.

Harris Family said...

Well said Jackie.

Jackie said...

In human hell, there are cars, but you are always on a very long road trip with a very full bladder. And there are no rest stops in hell.

Grandma Janean said...

The car had a nice paint job?! As far as black galants go....(oh and I didn't know that it was black until 2006). Also, I always knew when my baby girl was almost home.

cory and tara said...

LOVED this post! I am laughing out loud right now! But let's not forget the fact that you owned the car for like 6 years and it STILL smelled like smoke despite the fact that it hadn't been smoked in since the previous owner. Yes- I hate to break it to you - but if you didn't know- it smelled like smoke. Maybe you got used to it over the years but everytime I got in it, I looked in the ash tray to see if there was something in there still smoldering. Or maybe you are just a closet smoker and in that case- sorry for outing you.

Ashley said...

Bahahahaha.....car spirit.

Clayton & Sarah South said...

I enjoyed your car very much, specially during high school... it gave me many, many rides. But what I loved about it the most was that I didn't have to hold a boom box radio on my lap! hahaha