Friday, January 30, 2009

If I were a writer for SNL

Because one of my favorite television shows is Saturday Night Live and my dream career is television writing, I often think about what I would come up with if I were ever given the opportunity to write for the program. Of course, part of the regular sketch line-up for the show are parodies. Below is a list of some things that I would parody the hell out of if it were up to me. Please note that I don't dislike or disrespect most, of the following things, I just think they would make for great material.




  • Twilight! The book series and the film would be so easy to poke fun at. I can just imagine a scene where one of the female cast members, such as Kristen Wiig, plays a teenage girl who brings home to meet her parents her boyfriend - Bill Hader as a wide and shifty eyed "Edward" with extreme bedhead wearing caked on white powder and red lipstick.

  • Lost. I have been a huge fan of the show from the beginning, but even I can recognize that it is getting out of control. I don't think the cast of SNL would even be big enough to play all the main characters.

  • Gossip Girl. Even MORE unbelievable than the time-travel plotlines in Lost.
  • The songs on Britney Spears' new album, which are more like three minutes of strategically placed sound effects than musical compositions.
  • Paige Davis' recent comeback thanks to her RC Willey commercials. No explanation necessary.

That's all for now cause I'm starting to feel too critical and annoying.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Dream a little dream......

This weekend I was discussing with my co-worker how women (including myself) always seem to put the cart before the horse whenever we first meet a guy we really like. This includes such behaviors as assuming that they have certain desirable qualities (that they may or may not have), imagining the two of you becoming a couple, wondering what your life would be like if you married them, what your firstborn would look like, etc. This is just something I think most women tend to do, as much as we try not to. We just love ROMANCE and can’t resist playing out movie-worthy scenes or happily ever after scenarios after we first think to ourselves “Maybe this really could be something.”

Immediately after having this conversation I began to wonder if guys ever did the same, being the apathetic curse words that movies, television and our own experiences often make them out to be. I started thinking of my guy friends and wondering which ones might actually be prone to daydreaming. I immediately went to one that I would describe as a hopeless romantic (but he’s not really hopeless). Not a shocker to me, he does daydream about being in relationships so I asked him to describe to me what he imagines happening in the daydream. He listed three difference scenarios 1) him and the girl watching the stars (tehehe) (2) him comforting a girl while she cries (3) him and the girl having serious talks and getting “emotional together” (this guy has got to have the bluest personality according to the personality color wheel that I have ever seen).

I continued to ask several of my other guy friends the same question thinking that this query would prove to be a great way to find out about a person’s personality and what they look for in a relationship, but my prediction was proven wrong for the most part. Although HR’s, (Hopeless Romantic) description fit him to a tee! I continued to ask several of my other guy friends the same question and to my dismay most of their answers were very brief and unimaginative, with the exception of one friend who misunderstood the question to mean daydreaming in general and replied “skateboarding on everything and hanging with rappers/actresses.” Ha ha! Doesn’t that make you imagine Bart Simpson skateboarding through Springfield in the beginning credits of The Simpsons?

Anyway, most of their answers went something like this. “I just imagine me doing the same things I normally do but with that person there.” LAME! Why are men so unromantic?!! It would be appear that they just want us to act as their faithful hound accompanying them on rides to the grocery store and leading them on walks to the park. OK, maybe that’s a little crazy, but seriously, why so mundane in your fantasies? However, as simple as their answers were, it does show that they do dream about good old, simple companionship, which in and of itself is sweet. Let’s hear it for the boys, (especially Star Watcher)!