A short note of praise to a remarkable song

A few weeks I ago saw the Cirque Du Soleil show "Love," which is a tribute to The Beatles featuring only their music along with dancing, acrobatic acts and stunts performed in a theater in the round. It's by far the best live show I have ever seen on the Strip, or really anywhere for that matter and it reminded me of my love for their one-of-a-kind music and style. Although not a Beatles song, but a song from a Beatle, there was one song I wished they could have included somehow and that is John Lennon's "Imagine."

Do you remember where you were when you first heard "Imagine?" I remember being about ten years old and seeing the music video on VH1 when I was staying up really late one summer night as I often did as a kid. Maybe it was partly the obscurity of being up too late and being alone in my living room lying a foot away from the TV resting my head on my hands while the rest of the house was quiet, but I remember being very affected by it. So much so that for days I was in somewhat of a thoughtful, melancholy fog and I wished I could have been born in a time where I could have experienced the social turmoil of that decade yet also have lived to see the world peace the song was pleading for. To this day, whenever I hear this song and there are no significant distractions around, it puts me in a contemplative and serious mood. That's the power of its music and lyrics.

After seeing "Love," my friend Trevor and I talked about "Imagine" and he said he can remember hearing the song for the first time while he was out shopping with his mom also as a ten or eleven-year-old child. He was so struck by the song that he had to ask his mom who it was by.

Because I haven't yet figured out how to share music on this blog, I have only posted the lyrics to "Imagine" below. But when you can, go listen to the song and see how it makes you feel.

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
No religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Is this another rant? Maybe.

Lately Ive notived that people often communicate by consistenly posing questions about themselves then immediately answering them. It's like they are the interviewer and respondent of themselves. Example: "Did I eat Wendy's for lunch today and then Pizza Hut for dinner? Yes. Am I proud of it? No. Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Absolutely not.

Why so dramatic in your language? It's a little off-putting and also very inefficient. Why not just come out with one statement? I regret being a patron of two different fast food franchises in one day and I would not do it again. Look at how much easier and less sassy that was. There should be an SLC Weekend Update character that talks only in question and answer form. Kristin Wiig could pull it off.

Some very condescending words for some very obnoxious musicians

Stop whining, The Fray

Grow up, Asher Roth.

Keep your pants on, Pussycat Dolls.

Do your own work, Justin Timberlake.

That's enough, Lady Gaga.

And most importantly...

That's QUITE enough, Jason Mraz!

iPhone? No, thank you, Mr. Jobs, I'd rather not.

Can I just say one thing or is this Russia? I am not drinking the iPhone kool-aid! Almost everybody who owns one seems to rant and rave about its endless possibilities. But have you ever been in a social setting and got stuck with the guy that wants to show you that his iPhone screensaver is fish that move when you run your finger over them? How bout the guy that desribes funny YouTube videos then says "I'll look it up on my iPhone" and then spends five minutes trying to download it? "Hang on, its loading. Its being slow. I don't know what's going on. It never does this." Have you ever been texting someone and then discovered that they were being short in their texts because they were distracted by games they were playing on their iPhone?! I have. And it was while I was BLOGGING ABOUT THE iPHONE!

Don't even get me started on the repetitive commercials where some friendly voice-over omnipotently identifies everything you ever needed in life and then tells you the iPhone has an app for it. Is there anything the iPhone can't do?! Is a pocket sized piece of metal stripping us of our competence and humanity?! If I could create a mock commercial of the iPhone it would go something like this: "Need to use the lavatories throughout the day? Want to wash your hands afterwards? There's an app for that. " Then of course they would get more and more ridiculous: "Need to tuck your children into bed and kiss them goodnight? Want to save time reading them a bedtime story too? There's an app for that."

This is how bitter I feel towards the iPhone. iPhone you better watch your back!

See you at the crossroads....

Due to the faltering economy, I decided that I would continue to drive my 144,000 mile, 1998 Mitsubishi Galant into the ground in order to avoid a monthly car payment. About two weeks ago I literally did so, only the "ground" turned out to be the back of a white pickup truck. As soon as I heard the metal crashing, I knew my car's time had come. Having been together almost 7 years, I think I felt its car spirit leave its body. After making the news known to my friends, one aquaintance pointed out that although he had only had the opportunity to ride in my car once, he did notice it had a lot of quirks and that it was probably for the best.

So, this blog is devoted to my old car's "quirks." Hope you enjoy it as much as I do remembering it.

Quirk #1: Broken Door

About 6 months into buying the car, the driver's side backseat door refused to open from the inside AND outside. Of course, being that I myself didn't have to deal with it besides the occasional "Oh sorry, yeah that door doesn't open. Yeah, you have to go around. No, you have to go to the other side. Try the other side. ....GO AROUND!," I decided to let it be.


There was however one incredible moment I will never forget in which my dear friend Lindsay unknowingly, miraculously OPENED THE DOOR FROM THE OUTSIDE! It was beautiful. I stared at her like she had just removed the Sword in the Stone and exclaimed "It's a Miracle!" To the day it went down, the door NEVER opened again. I knew Lindsay was a special person and that fateful event proved it so.

Quirk #2: Jacked-up gas door

Only a couple months ago I was pumping gas and, like I often do, I stepped into the convenience store to get a diet pepsi while I left my gas pumping. And these were my next steps, in this exact order, after exiting the store with my 32 oz. : Opened door, sat in car, shut door, placed drink in cup holder, started car, put car in drive and accelerated. And then........"BOOM!" Then me: "Oh sh.....!" I don't think this needs any further explanation. Needless to say, the gas door was never the same again.

Quirk #3: Bent key

For whatever reason, my driver's side lock exhibited bear-like strength from time to time and the key had to be turned very strongly in order to make the lock budge. This resulted in one key's demise and the back-up's mutilation. Any time I handed someone my key to get into my car, I would get anxiety, fearful that their ignorance to its special needs would be the end of it

Quirk #4: Loudmouth
My car would never shut up. When I was making a sharp right turn, it would say "GGGGGGRRRRR!" When I was accelerating, it would say "VVVVOOOOOM" !" In colder weather, it would shriek "REEEEEEREEEEEEEREEEEEEE!" And when it was just moving it would whisper "vroooooommmmmmmm."

Quirk #5: Finicky interior lighting

The interior lighting that lit up the heating/cooling buttons only worked when they felt like it. Sometimes I could get them to do their job if I played with them a little bit, switching from hot to cold really fast, but sometimes even this tactic failed and I had to resort to my memory. Right: hot air. Left: cold air. And so on and so forth.

So, there are its quirks, among others that I'm sure I am forgetting to mention. Goodbye Galant. You were my first loan, you got me through my college years and then some. And for that you will hold a special place in my memory and credit score. As one of my favorite rap trios -Bone, Thugs, Harmony- would say "See you at the crossroads, crossroads......"

If I were a writer for SNL

Because one of my favorite television shows is Saturday Night Live and my dream career is television writing, I often think about what I would come up with if I were ever given the opportunity to write for the program. Of course, part of the regular sketch line-up for the show are parodies. Below is a list of some things that I would parody the hell out of if it were up to me. Please note that I don't dislike or disrespect most, of the following things, I just think they would make for great material.

• Twilight! The book series and the film would be so easy to poke fun at. I can just imagine a scene where one of the female cast members, such as Kristen Wiig, plays a teenage girl who brings home to meet her parents her boyfriend - Bill Hader as a wide and shifty eyed "Edward" with extreme bedhead wearing caked on white powder and red lipstick.


• Lost. I have been a huge fan of the show from the beginning, but even I can recognize that it is getting out of control. I don't think the cast of SNL would even be big enough to play all the main characters.


• Gossip Girl. Even MORE unbelievable than the time-travel plotlines in Lost.
  
• The songs on Britney Spears' new album, which are more like three minutes of strategically placed sound effects than musical compositions.
  
• Paige Davis' recent comeback thanks to her RC Willey commercials. No explanation necessary.

That's all for now cause I'm starting to feel too critical and annoying.

Dream a little dream......

This weekend I was discussing with my co-worker how women (including myself) always seem to put the cart before the horse whenever we first meet a guy we really like. This includes such behaviors as assuming that they have certain desirable qualities (that they may or may not have), imagining the two of you becoming a couple, wondering what your life would be like if you married them, what your firstborn would look like, etc. This is just something I think most women tend to do, as much as we try not to. We just love ROMANCE and can’t resist playing out movie-worthy scenes or happily ever after scenarios after we first think to ourselves “Maybe this really could be something.”

Immediately after having this conversation I began to wonder if guys ever did the same, being the apathetic curse words that movies, television and our own experiences often make them out to be. I started thinking of my guy friends and wondering which ones might actually be prone to daydreaming. I immediately went to one that I would describe as a hopeless romantic (but he’s not really hopeless). Not a shocker to me, he does daydream about being in relationships so I asked him to describe to me what he imagines happening in the daydream. He listed three difference scenarios 1) him and the girl watching the stars (tehehe) (2) him comforting a girl while she cries (3) him and the girl having serious talks and getting “emotional together” (this guy has got to have the bluest personality according to the personality color wheel that I have ever seen).

I continued to ask several of my other guy friends the same question thinking that this query would prove to be a great way to find out about a person’s personality and what they look for in a relationship, but my prediction was proven wrong for the most part. Although HR’s, (Hopeless Romantic) description fit him to a tee! I continued to ask several of my other guy friends the same question and to my dismay most of their answers were very brief and unimaginative, with the exception of one friend who misunderstood the question to mean daydreaming in general and replied “skateboarding on everything and hanging with rappers/actresses.” Ha ha! Doesn’t that make you imagine Bart Simpson skateboarding through Springfield in the beginning credits of The Simpsons?

Anyway, most of their answers went something like this. “I just imagine me doing the same things I normally do but with that person there.” LAME! Why are men so unromantic?!! It would be appear that they just want us to act as their faithful hound accompanying them on rides to the grocery store and leading them on walks to the park. OK, maybe that’s a little crazy, but seriously, why so mundane in your fantasies? However, as simple as their answers were, it does show that they do dream about good old, simple companionship, which in and of itself is sweet. Let’s hear it for the boys, (especially Star Watcher)!